Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.
A bomb factory.
Kurt Braunohler raised $6,000 on Kickstarter to “hire a man in a plane to write stupid things in the sky”
several of my friends donated to this
Stanley Cup Ring - My Precious [x]
It’s like the olympic closing ceremony…
funny story about these, i had a red one on my birthday and everyone was like “wow this is the coolest fucking thing ever” and it plays music and all that, but when it came to actually eating the cake and taking the candle out, there was no off switch, so we had to smash it to pieces in the back garden to shut it up. turns out if you smash it up the music box still works. when i was in bed at 3am i could hear something so i opened the window, and it sounded like a tune you would hear in a horror movie before someone gets their body ripped to shreds and eaten. sleep well munchkins. you dont want this fucking thing.
^^^^^^^^MY MOTHER BOUGHT THIS FOR ME WHEN I TURNED 14 IT DIDNT STOP PLAYING WE DROWNED IT FOR 5 HOURS AND IT STARTED PLAYING THE SECOND YOU TOOK IT OUT OF THE WATER MY BROTHER SMASHED IT AGAINST THE WALL 5 TIMES IT DIDNT STOP MY MOTHER THREW IT OUT 3 BLOCKS AWAY
i love how every single time i see this there’s a new horror story about this candle
“You would look so much better if you lost some weight-“
“You would be so much cuter with make up-“
“Make sure you shave or wax way all that body hair-“
“You shouldn’t wear that-“
“You would be beautiful if you just changed how you look-“
Casual reminder that the cast of the films wanted to do live action reenactments of most of these shorts
SHE WAS NOWHERE NEAR HIS MOUTH
HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS
WHY ARE WE USING CAPITAL LETTERS?????
BECAUSE SHE WAS SUCKING HIS PENIS
“you can’t hate them they’re family”